As you get older you realize that words like can't or no are ones that are effectively relegated to children.
"No, you can't stay up because Daddy says so."
"No, you can't have a cookie now, wait til after dinner."
Sure, adults have limitations on a case by case basis. Adults have things they can't do, aren't able to do. But for the most part, if you're of age and self-sufficient then you can do what you want. You can do anything.
Well, maybe not anything...
But, regardless, this has been my sort of motto for a long time. I can do or have anything that I want, as long as I want it enough and am willing to work for it.
Yes, I know there are exceptions...but fuck the exceptions.
Long before there was a Chaz or a Jensen (my kids), when I told my family and friends I wanted, and was going to have kids, so many of them said, "YOU CAN'T HAVE KIDS, YOU'RE GAY!"
(or something to that extent)
But I did it, and now, even tho sometimes being a largely single dad (their Mom is in the picture on a limited basis) blows antelopes, I freakin' love it at the same time. It sounds cliche, but it's true what they say, after a while, you can't imagine your life without your kids.
And when I said I was going to start a business, some friends/family doubted my abilities, but I did it. Now I have a successful business AND two adorable munchkins.
I approach relationships with the same additude.
Although I haven't been as successful in that area (my last two boyfriends, including the last who I went as far as marrying, cheated on me), I still have the additude that I can have a long term monogamous, healthy relationship if I want it badly enough and am willing to work and be smart about it.
This is what I want, and I WILL have it, eventually.
The few longterm blog readers I have will remember Cesar, who my friend Janelle set me up with, who easily sailed past Russian Pizza Guy and Krayzee Phone-Stealing Drew.
OK, in retrospect, maybe they weren't much competition for him. But you guys know that at one point, Drew was.
But as I've been spending more time with Cesar, he's been making me remember what I want for myself. He's been making me forget about Mike and all the hurt, making it easier to let it go.
I've just been thinking about all this the last few days and wanted to write it down.
We've been talking a lot....
We shall see what happens...