Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Non-date becomes a date

This past weekend I had a date. It was the first substantial vertical interaction I'd had with a guy since Mike and I broke up. Broke up... Correction -- since I found out he was cheating on me and threw his ass out. But I'm not too bitter now, just being accurate.

Until now, I was perectly content to refer to this date as a non-date, mostly because the idea of a date seemed to serious, too much to handle, and a non-date seemed simple and fun. Plus, I was bored and he was cute (he has been coming to the bakery since not long after it opened), so I said yes.

Still, I thought it best not to plan anything, it being a non-date and all.

But it went well, and I was surprised, relieved and happy to find out that I could have fun, that it came natural, that I wasn't hesitant.

He was interesting. I was interested and he seemed interested in me, and conversation came easily, flowing between the two of us in a comfortable way. We talked, asking each other all the normal questions, and we both laughed easily.

I saw a lot of qualitites in Drew that I like.

So we're hanging out tomorrow.

While I may not be ready for anything major yet, it's comforting that I can date. Especially since I'm not one to dwell on negative and unfortunate things in my life. And since I quickly came to terms with the fact that Mike and I are 100% over, since he's done this before, and he knew the score before.

I guess I'll become more active in seeking out more dates, or at least letting my friends set me up :)

Eventually I'll actually find the ever elusive ideal: a guy who appreciates me and all I have to offer, and who I can appreciate in the same way, and who won't run away from something real.

That's the aim.

Now I have to run. Didn;t really even have time to write this blog but I wanted to.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Now is the....fall...of my discontent

A lot has happened in the six weeks since I updated my blog last. And ya, it's not exactly fall yet with a high today of 83 degrees, but I am "discontent", or maybe, content but unhappy. If you think about it long enough, it's not nearly as oxymoronic as it sounds.

The happy news first:

The second little munchkin showed up to the party on August 19th, perfectly perfect and adorable, praise Jesus, the Mexican guy at the corner store; they make the best tamales, you kniow?

But seriously, the name is eventually settled on was Jensen Noah Riley, figuring that if he hated his name when he grew up, he'd have two other perfectly good names to go by if he chooses. He's just shy of a month old now and I love holding him and just spending time with him and being his dad. I know I forgot how small Chaz was, now that he's a terror ;)

In fact, Chaz did the cutest thing about a week ago. I had a friend staying with me, and we decided to pop in a Justin Timberlake DVD I bought and never watched. Well, in the begginning of the concert Justin started beat boxing and I was imitating him (for some reason, whenever I hear beatboxing, I have to join in) and Chaz started trying to imitate me, hahaha We were laughing so hard!

I swear, Chaz will probably grow up to the gay and one of his "roots" will be watching the JT DVD with Daddy, hahaha


The bakery is still going really well. I've even had a band play there one night (which went really) well and have plans for a second night soon with a different band. I also have scored two other corporate accounts, which means $ for me, which is, of course, always good.


Now the news I've been leaving till last. Not too long ago I found out that Mike was cheating on me. I'm not gonna bother to write tons about it, and bearly anyone reads this blog and comments, and all of my friends already know, but suffice it to say, I kicked him out and ended it for good.

He's a pig-fucking thundercunt, but whatever, I'm dealing.

But I guess Forrest Gump was right, Life really is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

So I'm single now, and plan to stay that way for a while. Truthfully, the idea of beginning to date again makes me sick to my stomach.

We shall see what happens. In any case, I know that with my kids and my business, I am really lucky and so shouldn;t stay down in the dumps about Mike for too long.

I'll try to update this more often. Try.