Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Come try my World Famous Hot Weiner!

My brother called today...

He works for Radio Shack.

He was visiting a store in pimplesquat podunk Pennsylvania (the kind devoid of chain restaurants, full of the family style establishments that make me uneasy). He said there were signs everywhere inviting people to try this town's World Famous Hot Weiners!

He said next time he goes there he's going to convince the manger of the store that they need to try the weiners.

Said he thought I'd think that it was funny

I did! I heart my brother for bringing the funny!


So I thought I'd say HEY HEY to the five ir 12 people that read my blog before the craziness of Thanksgiving totally overtakes me. Not that it already hasn't....

We've been so BUSY! Which is good for business (yay!) but bad for my sanity (heehee!!) If it weren't for the wonders of Visine I'd be rocking the straight up crackhead look without all the fun-fun drugs. Sleep is a distant, happy memory. Between work and the munchkins I have very little time for any 40 winks. I need to book some serious pillow time this weekend.

Oh, and to stave off insomnia-induced delerium further, I am declaring the bakery a Christmas music-free zone! That's right, folks! No magical sleigh rides or Santa coming down the chimney, not at work anyway.

I've always hated Christmas music. When doing frantic, ill-advised last minute mall shopping, Christmas music makes me want to gauge my eyes with a corkscrew. Yuletide cheer is musical form can suck my world famous hot weiner.

Seriously, I think some of my employees think I've gone to the fruitloops. I'm prone to spontaneous fits of dancing to wake myself up and get me in a good mood. Good thing I'm a good dancer ;)

Mmmm...I'm rambling...


It's gonna be smallish.

My sister is coming... Eh. Neither of my brothers are coming. Sucks. Mom's coming with her man. I'll have different friends stopping by throughout the day.

Most of the cooking is already done. The house smells awesome. If I could some how bottle it and spray it all over my blog so you could all smell it I would. Imagine as best as you can...

I may have new guy news for the next blog... I am choosing to remain mum for now, but we shall see :)


Monday, November 17, 2008

Letting it Out

I've been wanting to write a blog for a while, but I've been fighting it, because part of me doesn't want to even partially legitimize what's been going on by writing about it.

I'm feeling really low and discouraged and I despise feeling this way. I guess I'm just on edge and really emotional lately, and I'm not one to cry or explode or anything. I never let things out and it all becomes this seething, boiling red hot anger. My other emotions are just shut off, they have to be.

Last week something happened at work, and it was first time I've ever experienced anything like it. I never thought it would happen, I thought in this day and in my area of the country, in my town, we were past it. Evidently I was wrong

A man walked into the bakery and just went off. He just started yelling something like: "I don't want eat at this FAG RESTAURANT (he screamed it). You know, you could get AIDS! You shouldn;t be EATING HERE! Get OUT of here! You Don't want AIDS!

At first I froze. I felt like I was watching an over zealous portrayal on a tolerance-in-the-workplace video. Then I felt my face flush and I was furious. I wanted to kill this guy. I wanted him to stop yelling. I didnn't want to be seeing him. I didn;t want this to be happening.

Luckily there was police officer picking up lunch at the counter when the guy came in. He dealt with him. It's not even worth elaborating on.

Except that after I felt embarassed and violated and mortified and sad.

Why would someone feel compelled to do that? What's the point?

I live in the Philadelphia metro area, not Armpit Stank, Idaho or Mooseburger, Alaska.

The truth is, I've felt like shit about it for days, since it happened.

You have to understand, I don't live my life closeted. I don;t understand being in the closet. I burned mine down a long time ago. People know I am gay. Most of my exployees knew I was gay before the incident. The day it happened, one of my kids quit. No real explanation, just he couldn;t work for me anymore.

Maybe he thought he'd get AIDS. (Not that this needs to be said but I am 100% HIV negative. And that's so beside the point anyway).

Nothing else has happened at work.

But something else happened today....

I actually called my Dad because his birthday is coming up and I thought I'd be a "good son" and call him. People who know me know I don;t see or talk to my Dad very often. Partially because he lives across the country, and partially because he doesn;t approve of my life choices. Translation: he doesn't like where I stick my dick. He's a bigot and a homophobe.

But I was gonna get the birthday thing over with.

Well, somehow he get on the topic of Prop 8 and gays and lesbians right to marry.

Now, my Dad don;t talk about me being gay...but he knows I am. And he's met all of the past important men in my life.

Well he starts saying that he would probably voye for gays to have civil unions, but he doesn;t believe gays should be able to marry because "that's not what the Bible says and that is not the way laws are written. Plus, what if gays just start marrying so they can get benifits??"

My Dad is a colossal douchebag

I ask him if he really believes that I shouldn;t be able to get married and have the same rights as straight couples...

He starts talking about how it's not fair or right for people to ask for special rights. He says what's next? Are fat people gonna ask for special rights? Or people with red hair?

I tell him it's not the same thing.

I tell him that civil unions are the equivalent of separate but equeal. And every resonable, educated person knows that separate but equal was always separate but never equal.

He gets flustered. Starts his normal line of bullshit about how Obama is gonna get into office and "change everything around with his liberal friends" He says Obama wants to change the Constitution! Imagine that!

We argue. He makes a derogatory comment about gay relationships not being real, not being legitimate. he makes a joke, basically calling my ex a faggot and me a fudge packer.

I call him a bigoted crusty old fuck and hang up on him.

I am instantly and harshly reminded why I never talk to him.

And here I sit, trying my best let it roll off my back. Trying to fake-it-till-you-make-it smile with my kids.

But I'm hurt. And writing about it in a blog is better than punching a hole in the hole or plotting Shakespearean-worthy senarios or patricide.

I know some people actually do read this blog. And I am officially asking for feedback. Even if you just tell me to get over myself. Because maybe I need to. I don't know. Something needs to change tho.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Baracking the Presidency: Hopeful & Discouraged

Something that I did not tell many people was that, in the last few weeks leading up to the election, and especially the day of the election, I was filled with an encompassing sense of dread. I was sure that Obama would have the Presidency wrenched from him in some devious way, or we'd see some repeat of 2000 or 2004.

I was scared, and I was sick...and my stomach was talking to me all day.

When Obama won Pennsylvania and then Ohio, I forgot my worries. To me, this process was like football is for heterosexuals. I was screaming at the TV, opunching my fists. And when he was declared President-elect, so relatively quickly and decisively, I was elated.

I felt that our country, one that I love, was finally hading in the right direction. After eight years of darkness, I could see the light. I'm sure a lot of people felt that way.

I listened to McCain's concession speech, breathing a sight of relief. I listened to Obama's speech, and realized something. For the first time in my adult life (with the exception of Hillary Clinton's campaign) I felt....hope, excitement, like maybe finally someone would be in the White House who cared about me and my friends and the people I love. Like maybe Obama will unite us, take steps to stregnthen the economy, maybe even become an ally to gay people.

I went to bed happy, and slept well.

Then I woke up. And during Wednesday I heard that Prop * had passed in California...

I was crestfallen. It was an outcome that represents rampant fear, ignorance and antiquated value judgements. More proof that homophobia and discrimination against homosexuals really is the last form of socially aceptable prejudice.

I'm deeply sorry for anyone in California that Prop 8 will effect. It is a social injustice that we should not stand for. I am profoundly sad and discouraged,

When will things change? How long do we have to wait for what should be ours without asking?




Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Baracking the Vote!

Real fast!

I voted today! It was insane, almost 2 hours in line.

And when I was in line I heard people talking about Sigourney Weaver. Turns out she was at my polling place! Championing Obama. I was going to go shake her hand, but she left before I got out of line. Really tall tho, and dresed well., I saw her from my place in line. I don't know why she was there especially, but some people were saying she lives in Pennsylvania. That I don't know.

Anyways tho, you should all vote. Don't be a douchebag and not vote! No excuses bitches, go vote!

Barack the vote, people! (even tho I voted for Hillary in the primaries, I'm optimistic about Obama)

*crosses fingers and waits*

I love you all.