OK ladies and gents, this is going to be a long one, so if you intend to read on, fix a mug of your favorite bev, curl up with a warm blanket and get comfy because I've been itching to write this and I've got a lot to say. AND, I finally have time to write it. The mini-munchkin is getting some quality time with the baby mama's mama and the munchkin is laying down next to me coloring me a picture.
(why don't they have underline on this blog thing?)
As you know, my sister is likely getting a divorce and the BIL's mom and sis came from jolly old England for Christmas and he wanted to spend time with his fam alone so Drunkella had Christmas with us.
My Mom picked sis up from work and took her home to get her overnight bag and pick up her two fat cats. Apparently there was drama there because she didn;t bother to pack beforehand and took FOREVER getting her stuff together, THEN, after they left to come to my house, she forgot something and they had to turn around.
Whatever, right? Not too, too bad, especially for my sister.
Well, as soon as they got here, they were unloading the cats and getting them set up in the basement and sis says she has got to get changed and runs upstairs to the guest bedroom. Well, she comes down about 10 minutes later and it's obvious she's been drinking (slurring words, stumbling some). So she goes out for a cig and my Mom (heartbroken at the prospect of my sister drunk on Christmas Eve, no less) goes up to the room to see where sis hid the booze. (It was obviously her booze since all my booze is locked away, either behind a key pad or under lock and key).
So, Mom ends up finding 4 pint-size vodka bottles, and two are half empty. Well, about this time sis comes up to the bedroom and is even more drunk (major slurring, barely talking above a wisper [unless she wants to yell and scream], can't keep her head up, beligerent behavior).
Mom and I both are feeling about a million different emotions. My sister has done a lot of things, but drinking on Christmas Eve, that's a first. Plus, I'm worried about my kids being there (no worries, they weren't exposed to any of her behavior). Plus, my brother and sister were coming at that point in about 2 hours and I was afraid that when they say the state sis was in they'd just leave. Also, Mom and I had to finish cooking, which we were behind on. Lastly, I had friends dropping in all night off and on (which is normal) and I was worried they'd see her (which some did and I was *mortified*....)
Mom and I try to talk to sis. She starts her normal bullshit, blaming everything on my mother (who, for the record, is, despite a few faults, a wonderful woman, and doesn;t deserve 95% of sis's bs).
She irrational, screaming at my Mom, I lose my temper. She's being ridiculous, at one point insinuating that her behavior isn't her fault because "drinking is genetic" and "Papaw was an alcoholic." This last bit was designed to upset my mother and isn;t even true. The truth is that my grandpa had two pediods in his life when he drank: once in the late 30s-early 40s when my oldest uncle was a little boy (way before my Mom was born) and once again in the mid 70s after my grandparents got a divorce and Papaw married a horrible woman.
Anyway, sis is ridiculous, begging for the vodka back, swearing she'll just stay up in her room and not come out for dinner.
We end up getting her to come down. She sobers up a bit. Starts hugging us every five minutes and crying (which is very annoying when you're trying to cook). She insists on doing a back flip in the family room to prove she can still do one (she used to be a gymnast).
At one point a friend of mine stops by to exchange presents. Sis hugs him and cries. She doesn't even know him. He doesn;t know her. They've never met. I am mortified. He leaves.
I suggest sis go upstairs, brush teeth (she smells like a brewry/cig factory) and wash face (major racoon eyes). Of course, I keep the ( ) to myself. I go up to my bedroom to brush teeth, check myself, etc. Sis comes in, inform me she forgot her toothbrush, asks if I have mouthwash. I do, but I lie and tell her no. I know from past experience that she will take it and drink it to get drubk from the alcohol in it. She gets pissed, never even bother to clean her face to attempts to do something about her breath.
When bro and sis-in-law do show up, sis is somewhat better. Not slurring as much. Still, she jumps up in bro's arms and hugs him, making him carry her like that into kitchen. Her behavior is painful to watch. All through dinner she tries to follow the convo but is about five minutes behind, randomly saying something about a topic we had finished discussing some time ago, that sort of thing.
Thankfully the worst of sis's outburst took place upstairs while munchkin was in the basement playing with cats. Dinner was late and munchkin was already sleeping so he didn;t witness any of this. He's young but I'm scared he will pick up on things and I don't want him to see that.
After dinner, sis slumps in chair, nearly passes out. Thankfully she goes to bed without incident.
Thankfully, sis is mostly sober Christmas morning and much more normal. Everyone opens up their stockings (yes, we all have stockings, not just the munchkins, haha) and then we open up some of the presents.
I can;t describe, it might be a weird feeling, but I think it's pride I feel when I watch Chaz open up his presents. He's an excitable kid normally, but Christmas opushes over the top, 200%. He is so excited about Santa and the presents that he can;t stop giggling and it's adorable.
Yes, I am way past officially kid-tarded and I think everything (well, not everything) my kids do is cute. But seriously, it was sooooo cute. Luckily you Moms understand :)
Afta-afta we have some breakfast and my bro has to leave to go be with his wife's family. We hang out with my Mom for a few hours (with friends stopping in too) before Mom leave to go be with her man's family for a while. Sis also leaves.
Before she does, I take her aside and tell her she's not welcome in my home again until I see that she's makign efforts to deal with her alcoholism and quit drinking, something I haven;t seen up to this point. This obviously upset her. I really don;t care about her feelings in that moment. Actually I'm relieved.
Cesar comes over Christmas Day-night. Perfect timing since all the visitors have trickled down and we get some alone time together. We exchange gifts and it's funny because of each of our gifts to each other is clothes (which is a very gay-couple thing to do). We go try them on. Cesar looks hotttttt. Visions dance thru my head, and it's not sugar plums.
I have a his and his closet (which is only slightly different than a his and hers) and one side is empty. Cesar sees this and, points toward the empty side, asks if that is his side, smiling. I'm caught up. I tell him soon probably, smiling back.
Christmas nookie ensues. Everything is slower, we take our time. The room is warm, the bed is war, everything is very warm. I enjoy exploring the contours of hi body. I remember noticing that his skin is A LOT softer then most guys I've been with.
I like looking at his eyes in the moment. I've never understood couples that never look at each other. He has a certain twinkle in his eyes I've noticed before.
He seems an open book in daily life and in bed. He is open, and I like this very much.
My frirnds tell me that this partially likely due to his Hispanic culture. (Ceasr is partially Puerto Rican, Cuban and Dominican). The reason why isn;t so much important me to. I just like it.
The Day After Christmas
We sleep in as late as we can (which isn;t late) and Cesar eventually has to leave to go take care of hsi things, plus I have to go into work to chek on some things, take care of some things, etc., etc.
From an earlier blog you'll remember that Cesar's Mom had given me a letter beasically saying she wanted to meet me, etc., etc. [See Cesar update if you don;t know what I'm talking about]
Well, Cesar told me she wanted me and him to come to her house last night so I could meet her, la la la. I was a little nervous but didn;t let on to him. I got the impression it would be small and low key and just maybe some of his family. I was a little nervous because I didn;t know exactly what tyo expect and I like being prepared. So I called my friend Danny and he explained some things and prepared me (thanks Danny).
I ended up bring over some flowers for Cesar's Mom, some wine and some leftover goodies.
It was actually really great meeting his family. It was a little overwhelming because I'm not used to large family (and Cesar's is pushing 30 just with his parents, sib and their families) but I had a great time, and I could see how close Cesar is to them, and they are supportive and happy people. And happy to meet me. And really just happy that their son/brother/uncle is happy.
I have more to write but you probably all stopped reading ages ago, and Chaz is restless.
Hope you all had good Christmases!