One question for all the blogheads:
Does a good ending of one year mean that the next year will also be good?
I sure hope so!
New Years was a million times improvement on Christmas Eve/Christmas. I had about 16 people over for dinner which was very nice and drama-free (no sis). Dinner was scrumdiddlyumptious and everyone was laughing and talking.
I drank a teensy weensy bit too much because I was queerly nervous, but everything went awesome.
Yes folks, Cesar and I are now official. Officially bfs. And I'm feeling good. I feel like this will be good, like we will be good.
He kind of laughed when I asked him and gave me a big hug. Said he had a feeling I was gonna do something New Years.
I mean, I know it's nothing special, and I'm talking about it like I just asked him to marry me, but I'm happy. Like, actually happy. I'm not worried like I was with Mike. And I want to enjoy it.
Janelle (our mutual friend that set us up) is over the moon and proud she picked a winner, heheh (She has set me up with some real looooosers in the past). But we, I am exceedingly appreiate and happy and Janelle gets like a million cosmic brownie points for this one, and a million brownie points in my book too.
Sometime after midnight people bagan to go and by I dunno when, when everyone was gone and it was just me and him, and it was nice even to do something like cleaning up together. Like, it felt more real. Because it is really real.
We've talked...and one of the things that I really like about him (and I'm not sure if I wrote about this before) is that nothing seems to scare him. I mean, I've tried being realy honest from the begiing and I think each of us knows what the other wants in a relationship. Jenn (the baby mama) was talking to us at one point NYE night and she was prodding me about having aother bambino (bambina?? - she wants a girl), And Cesar just busts out with, "I think you should have about five." -- like totally serious. And, I believe him. Because he has a big family. And nothing seems to scare him.
We have talked about if it progresses to "move in together" mode then he'd move in with me and essentially be another father to the boys. And I have to confess that in these moments...I scrutinize his reactions. And I don;t see what I might expect to see: I don;t see fear, aprehension or ambivalence. I see what I think is excitement and eagerness and a face that says, "Let's get on with it already."
Which is really nice.
It's a huge change of pace from my ex.
Cesar seems well-adjusted and loving.
Still, I won't go too fast. I owe the boys that; I am a better father than that.
But, I can't help thinking ahead.
2009 will be far better than 2008.
I know that for myself and my family, and I hope that for all of you and your families.
Oh, and for Danny....I definitely like the brown people ;)