I've just returned from the Nikka Costa concert at the World Cafe Live in Philly, and I'm so fucking happy that I went. Literally, my hands are swollen in places from clapping so much, and I'm a little sweaty from dancing so much, but I loved it.
From her second song, which was Life a Feather, the crowd was pumped and it never stopped. For anyone who doesn't know of Nikka Costa and has never heard her music, please go out and buy her CDs, you won't be dissapointed. I've been a fan for years now, but this was my first time seeing her live.
Nikka Costa is a force on stage, she's brilliant, and her energy is infectious. World Cafe Live is a small and intimate venue, so any seat, or any spot, is a good one.
Towards the end of her set, on stage with her sizable band, she started singing, "Come on, get your ass up!" and was making anyone that was sitting down get up and dance. It was funny and it was envigorating at the same time.
And I think that's going to be my mantra from now on: Come on, get your ass up!
The last few days have been difficult because I found out some things about Drew that I didn't like.
Sunday I celebrated Chaz's 2 and a half year birthday with a lot of friends, and Drew was there. He left early and called me later, explaining that he had picked up my cell phone by mistake and had it. See, we both have Razors. He was very apologetic and offered to bring it over, but I said I'd just pick it up in the morning, and he said he'd leave the phone by the front door and a key under the mat.
Well, I got there Monday morning and there is no key. I look under the mat and all around and no key. So when I get to work, I call Drew and no answer. No big deal, Drew usually returns calls within an hour. But he doesn't.
I call a few times during the day. No answer. I call after work. I'm worried, he has never not answered his phone or not returned a call for so long before. I actually started to think something might be wrong and was going to go over to his house the next day and check things out.
Before I go to bed Monday night, I call one last time. He finally picks up.
He tells me he's done something bad. I'm worried, and ask, "What??"
Basically, he took my phone (on purpose), listed to a bunch of messages that were either new (I never had gotten them because he had my phone) or old, got jealous by whatever he heard, decided to delete a bunch of my saved and new messages, and then went so far as to delete a bunch (later I discovered it was all of the guy's numbers in my phone, including family members, and ones I don;t know by heart and might be hard to get back, including some work contacts) of programed numbers from my phone.
He's telling me all this, and we actually talk for quite a while. And I'm just getting angrier and angrier. He took my phone and listened to private messages and deleted information. And all because he's jealous because I'm single and dating more than one guy. Which he knew, from the start. And seemed to be okay with.
And he keeps apologizing and crying and telling me this and that and getting hysterical. And all I can think is that he seems crazy and has boundary issues. And he justseems unstable.
I went and got the phone late last night after I got off the phone with him. I told him I think we don;t need to see each other anymore.
And to myself, I think that I need to make a few changes in my life. Mainly that I need to concentrate on myself, and surround myself only with my kids and my friends. And I need to be more discriminating about who I let in my life.
And right now, Drew's no longer ion my life.
Back to my new mantra tho. Come on, get up off your ass. It could not have come at a better time.
See, I'm not gonna let this thing with Drew bother me.
Why? Because I'm living life. I'm getting my ass up. I'm seeing a great, inspirational singer. And I'm getting some perspective.
So, it's official: guys are taking a backseat in my life. What is important is my kids, my friends, and being sucessful in my business.
I'm not kicking Cesar to the curb. I'm not stupid enough to screw something that could potentially be good. But I am gonna explain my new philosophy to him, and see what he thinks about it.
And we shall see, I guess. But I'm not worried either way.
I just needed to get all that out.