Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Work-related drama --- FEEDBACK REQUESTED!

Here's the deal....

I like to think of myself as a pretty good boss. I think I'm the kind of boss that people like to work for. I'm a hardass on a few things, but I also care a lot about my employees and I try to accomadate them when I can when they deserve it.

OK so, the basic dress for the bakery/restaurant is a polo shirt with the logo on it. And in the spring and summer I allow jeans (with no holes) and in the fall and winter dressier pants. The basic idea is that people look neat and put together.

OK so I have one guy that works for me, one of my gay employees that has had a hard time of it lately. I guess he never knew his dad and his mom died within the last year and he has several younger brothers and sisters he's taking care of. And most of them are a lot younger than him, almost like he is their father now.

He works a total of three jobs and I know money is tight.

Today I noticed that his pants had a hole at the knee and both pant legs were frayed at the bottoms. On his break I said something about it to him and he was really apologetic and promised not to wear the pants to work anymore and to buy new as soon as he had the money.

I eventually offered to take him to the mall after his shift and buy him some pants. I know he woks hard, and he's one of my favorite people, and I explained that it was a kind of reward for a valued employee. Plus, I reasoned to myself that in the grand scheme of things a few pairs of pants is not a lot of money to me, but it'd be good for him and he could really use them.

So later we went to the mall and he picked out some pants, very thankful, probably shy about accepting them, but happy I think. We ended up eating at the mall too because we were both hungry and I wanted to make sure he had a good meal. Ruby Tuesday's., no big deal.

Anyways after dinner I am driving him back to his car.

At one point I am looking off to the left, getting ready to change lanes, not paying attention to him, and all the asudden he's kissing the side of my neck and sliding his hand over to my junk.

I instictively shifted away and removed his hand and turned my head and gave him a "WTF" look.

I said something like, "Dude, I'm your boss, AND I have a boyfriend." (And, in case you're wondering, he already knew about Cesar)

But I instantly felt bad... If you could have seen the look on his face. Like, mortification, sadness, fear, and the oh-shit-I-fucked-up look.

He goes, "You're gonna fire me, oh shit, I don't want to lose the job, I like working for you", etc and started to tear up.

(FYI: crying makes me uncomfortable)

I said I wasn;t going to fire him.

He said, "I just wanted to thank you." and there was what I think was desperation in his voice.

It kind of broke my heart because I understood. I would have hugged him if I wasn't his boss and we were just friends.

I said, "There are other ways you could thank me, like....saying thank you." In my tone of voice I tried to make it like a joke so he'd laugh and break the tension.

But it fbackfired and he started crying harder. Told me how much stress he was under taking care of his sibs, and how he had to keep it together for them, how he couldn't just go to the mall and buy new clothes because his money had to go to so many other more imprtant things.

And I understood without any other words that he honestly felt that anything sexual between us would have been a thank you from him, and stress relief I imagine. Of course it wasn't gonna happen.

I let him talk some more and listened. Before too long I had made it to the parking lot where his car was.

He apologized again and before he got out I couldn;t help it and I hugged him and told him if there was anything I could do as his boss I'd try to help him out, and not to worry, his job was safe.

Then he got out and got his his car and drove off.


A. Did I do anything wrong, not bosslike?
B. I gotta say something to him Friday when he works next. I might just reiterate what I already said Ideas????????


The Rambler said...


I think you did the right thing by just listening to him and I'm sure you were analyzing the whole thing while talking. And I'm sure you assessed it was what you said. A stressed out guy trying to make it work and he didn't know how to say thank you. Obviously he hadn't tried this before and you mentioned he was one of your favorites, so maybe he was very overwhelmed by your generosity and figured it was the only way to thank you. Mmmmm, IDK. But I think you went the right way. If he gives you the eebie jeebies when you return to work then maybe you'll have to end it because it won't be just professional anymore.

Question: Did you tell Cesar? If so, what'd he say?

distractinglybombastic said...

I think you're right. I'm just gonna have to reiterate what I said and see how he reacta. He does need the job tho, so I highly doubt he'll put me in the position of HAVING to fire him,

I did tell Cesar. He understood, I think, and anyway, he trusts me, if not other guys. Although not totally without his jealousy, he's laid back enough not to be neurotic, thank God.

Danny C said...

It isn't gay unless the balls are touching