First off, Kalei, I'm still laughing from reading your comment to my last blog, heheh. I am alive, but I think it was you who predicted it'd be July 4th before I wrote a blog... Was it you? Whoever it was, they were right. But better late than never. Or so I assume...
OK peoples... Obviously the idea that I might update this blog with any regularlarity in the forseeable future is...laughably unrealistic. But, I still love my blog people...all 11 of you, yay! (Even the ones that never comemnt) Whatever, I haven't commented on any of yours in months ;) Oops! :P
So, to the actual blog!
The reason I haven't written for a while, what it boils down to, is that I don't have any time. I don't have any, any, any, any, ANY time to myself nowadays and I just kind of forgot about my blog. But also...and this is the big difference, I don't have any crazy angry-ape-beating-his-chest drama to report.
I'm happy. We're happy. We've actually made a little family unit. Cesar and I and the munchkins, Chas and Jensen. And a booger of a cat named Oakley.
I know now that I can honestly say that I have left behind the drama of my past relationships, and I don't miss anything...anyone. I don't even want to mention my exes' names, they are chapters of my book, long ago written and sent to the presses, no change or desire to go back.
Of course, not everything is perfect with me and Cesar. We argue. He nags. His family butts in. My family butts in. He's fiery one instant and an extreme calming influence the next. He lets me be the protector I've accepted that I need to be. We rarely go to bed mad. Stress is a constant, but it doesn't bother me or him like it has, at least for me, in the past (in other relationships).
Chas has come to view Cesar as...not another father, but I think as "Daddy's person", and this makes me very happy. He hasn't said anything about Mike is quite a while, another little something that makes me very happy.
Cesar has told me that our 30s will be a hell of a lot better and happier than our 20s were... That reminds me of something I want to admit in blogland. Cesar and I have talked to each other, frankly, about our pasts. I told him about the parts of my childhood and adolescence that weren't so shiny and and happy, and I didn't gloss over them and pretend they weren't a big deal. Cesar told me about things in his childhood and past that will remain sacred here. For me, for us, it was cathartic but easy.
Like I've said in the past, to steal Danny's expression, the Brown people agree with me ;) I don;t think Cesar likes that I sometimes (playfully) refer to his people as the Brown people. He tells me that not all of them are all that Brown. That always makes me laugh, and I'm laughing now thinking of it ;)
I will end there because it seems a good spot to end for now. I will TRY to write more soon. Soonish. Something closely resembling soon.
Love to the blog elves! Muppet Soul, Rambler, Kalei, Penz. Of course Danny, but you are only a semi blog elf ;)