Not Me Mondays!

I really want to write a real blog, but I feel I need to ease myself back into blogging, and I've always wanted to write one of these blogs. Plus, I can tell you what I've done lately...I mean, not done, definitely not done.

1. I definitely did not buy a pack of American Spirits and chain smoke five cigarettes before becoming disgusted and throwing out the pack. I did not do this, because I never smoke, not even in times of stress.
2. I did not run into an ex f*ck buddy in the bookstore and end up splitting a piece of cake with him while letting him flirt with me. I did not eventually have to remind him that I am in a relationship.
3. I did not have a mini work-related, stress-induced shit fit freak out session. I did not go off on some of my employees because I'm never that kind of boss.
4. Speaking of, I'm not up to my ears in orders. I should not be doing something productive and work related and I'm no0t sitting here typing this blog instead.
5. I did not going looking for houses in person and I'm not majorly anxious to get the ball rolling on this house-hunting thing.
6. Cesar and I are not embarassingly obsessed with American Idol this year. We do not already have our favorites. We are not so freaking happy that Tatiana and Nathan are not on. We do not think Norman Gentle got robbed or that he was so freakin' funny. We are not already totaly looking forward to tomorrow night. We do not think that other people might think that this makes us a little pathetic.
7. Oh my god, I almost forgot! I did not see the cutest little person couple while out shopping. They were not holding hands and and being all lovey dovey about each other. It was not even cuter because they were small. I do not have an obsession with little people. I never watch Little People, Big World. I do not want to visit a town I heard about where only little people live. I do not think that this would make me feel like a complete giant.
8. Speaking of, in one day I did not spend over $1200 in groceries and at the mall, shopping, etc. I did not do that because it would be a waste. Also, in the same day, Cesar did not spend hust about the same amount on clothes, gadgets and other odds and ends.
9. After we finished not shopping, we did not go out for pizza and eat a large pizza between the two of us.
10. A few hours after not eating that pizza, we did not watched a rented movie and eat a whole bag of Oreos between us.
11. We did not feel like huge fat asses afterwards. We did not excercise all the next day.
12. Speaking of, I did not get all excited when I did not see a new bakery that I never knew existed. And I want not hugely disaapointed when everything I order tasted average to gross. I was not later told by a friend that this bakery is known for its cakes and not the crap I ordered. Still, I don;t plan on trying any cakes, because they'd probably be average o gross too.
13. I do not need a nap. I do not wish Cesar was here to snuggle.