Basically, forst of all, I want to thank everyone who has been posting on my blogs, both publicly and privately. I mostly write these blogs for myself as a way to get my thoughts out, but it's nice to have feedback as well. So I thank you.
No worries tho, I'm fine.
Yes, I will miss Mike. You can't be with someone for as long as we were, GET MARRIED, and just bounce back lickety split when shit goes to pot. I love him, but I'm not in love with him. It's not a possibility, since he's not capable of the level of commitment that I am.
But I'm constantly reminded that I'm now in an awesome position: I'm a father. And every day my kids remind me of the beauty that can be found in the simplest of things. Chaz and Jensen are amazing. Just to hear Chaz laugh or giggle, or for him to tell me what he wants for breakfast in the morning. It's so adorable and makes me so happy, and I feel priviliged to have these two perfect little people in my life each day.
When I am sad or upset, I can easily remember how much I love my boys, and I know that one day I will find the right guy. Kids make you realize that you can in fact do things that you never thought you could.
Whenever the day comes that I do find that guy, I know I'm already ready. What could prepare me better than having kids? They're living, breathing perspective. And their lessons are not lost on me, Although I will undoubtedly have bad days, I cannot linger in the mindset of those days, because, with grace and innocence, my children won't let me.
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And since I've decided to take a step back away from guys for the time being, I've had even more time for exercise, especially dance. While it seems that I almost always go to bed tired lately (what's new?), somehow I have more energy because dancing always makes me happy. It's something I've done off and on since I was a teenager, even taking some classes, but now I just doing it for exercise and fun.
And sometimes Chaz will dance with me, which is just so adorable it mkes me laugh so hard that my eyes water.
I'm happy. I'm healing.
Now, if only we can all get thru next Tiesday minus the alien and the bimbo (McCain/Palin)....
Obama Biden '08! *crosses fingers*
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1 comment:
Glad to see you healing and getting better (at last!) I'm really happy that you realize that your children are all you need in your life, at least for the time being. I know that feeling quite too well. And, of course, you do know that no man could ever replace them in your heart. So, while they're still ankle-biters, enjoy all the time you can get with them.
And at last! A guy who appreciates dancing. Every time I tell people I love to dance they laugh at me! I hope you don't get the same reaction out of them -they just don't understand how freeing and mind-tranquilizing dancing can be!
Keep enjoying yourself -I'm honestly happy to see you healing and moving on. And try putting the "pesky memories" behind you if you may. Maybe it is time for those Ghostbusters to be called.
(See? The subscribing thing really works! No need to keep me updated personally from now on if you don't want to!)
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