*puff, puff*, get your own!

no, not weed. But I'm smoking cigarettes again. I do that....in times of stress, but it's uaully only a few and I throw out the pack... not this time. I forgot that I ENJOY smoking... I won;t keep doing it, I'll stop, but shit, I need one vice... I run and work out and dance every day... and I don;t drink any soda and barely eat any meat anymore... of course I drink, but i have my sister making me look like a saint in that respect, so i'm covered there.

but ya, smoking, newports, menthol.... mMmMmmMmMMmmMmMmM

i'm stressed about christmas, what to get mike? what to get a million other people, but really mike? cuz...i always get him something really good. i know it'll come to me...eventually. but i have impulse problems. i've been buying tons of shit online.

it might sound fucked up, but i think mike cheating on me was the best thing that could have happened to us... i'm not gonna get into why it happened (at least not in this blog), but it was good, because he fucking grew up in the year we were apart, and, more importantly, he let go of his hang ups about sex.

i'm not sure if it's his guilt, but i don;t really care why. i mean, i knew i was more experienced that mike, that was obvious, but when we got together i didn;t figure he'd be so unadventurous. but he's lossening up now, and allowing me to introduce him to new experiences.

don;t get me wrong, i'm ALWAYS respectful, i just think that sex doesn;t always have to be *sacred*, and not always between just two people. not that I'd ever cheat in a million years...i have too much self respect for that, and i'm not stupid either.

i'm sure i'll talk about that more later. Until then, let the pic stimulate your imagination.