Snowpocalypse 2010!!!!

This snow is friggin' crazy!

Like, seriously.

SERIOUSLY!

We lost power for 2 and a half hours today -- tons of fun!

And I have heartburn from wicked cumin bean salad.

But ya, the snow, I can't even keep track of how much we've had this year. The heat actually freakin' went off because the vents got covered up by snow and that has NEVER happened!

Son of a nugget!

Oh my God, this blog is so stupid.

I'll do better next time

Love you, ----Me

Yes, it's a NEW Blog Post!

I guess it's been a hot minute since I posted last... More like six months if anyone is counting, and I imagine no one is, except maybe one or two of you...out there in Blogland.

As always, I'm not dead, just cyberly-maimed... The idea of actually spening a significant amount of time online for any sort of pleasure is a memory. Not that I'm complaining -- just explaining my absence.

I read my last blog and I laughed because that seems so long ago -- mostly because it was, all the way back in the summer.

But, anyways, today is a new day, a new month, a new year! I'm a bit older and, perhaps, a bit wiser. And last night and today it snowed around two feet and we're stuck in tonight so it seems like a good time to attempt an update.

Cesar and I are still together and still living together (go us!) For once in my life, drama seems to be a thing of the past. And one of these days I won't even think to mention that when I write a blog or talk to an old friend, but for right now it's still very noteworthy and somewhat hard to believe.

The kiddos are GREAT! Chas will be 4 in April which is so crazy since it seems like it all started yesterday. Jensen is almost 18 months old, shy a few weeks. I remember when I used to be so impatient for the kids to get older so they'd be like "little people." Now I want it all to slow down. Now all I see if the future and them getting older and it scares me. I know as new things happen I will be fine but I can't help being a protective Poppa Bear...at least that's what Cesar calls me.

Business is still good and we are loving it. More on that in the next blog because it turns out I don't have as much time as I thought I would to write this.

Actually, if I had one complaint it would be that I am spread too thin... But that is my doing and I am not complaining.

Just wanted to quickly say hello to Blogland, to anyone who might read this :)

Lots of things to say

I've been wanting to write a blog for a long time and I haven't been able to get around to it....story of my life, I know. But I'm making time now, and this may be a longish blog so get comfy with your favorite beverage and settle in and start reading...

First of all, I want to tell blogland about this Sunday...like the *perfect* day for me and Cesar.

It was crazy shitty weather but the kind you don't mind basically all Saturday night. Lightning and rain...and by the morning it was thundering up a storm and raining, and although it should have been light out it was so dark that it might as well have been nighttime. Since I didn't have to worry about the bakery and I didn't have the munchkins, Cesar and I slept in like world class champs. Thankfully, no one called on the phone and, although we did eventually wake up enough for a little afternoon delight and lazy conversation, we didn't really get up till 4 PM. After a shower, we realized we were starving (ate an early dinner Saturday and nothing after so hadn't eaten in maybe 22 hours) so we made grilled cheese and lazed on the couch watching old movies.

We did absolutely nothing all day and it was a great day. I love days when you don;t have any responsibilities and the munchkin-sized responsibilities you do have happen to be being taken care of by their Mom. :)

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Speaking of Cesar, this might sound funny, but something happened that I guess is bad, but it actually made me feel good. I've talked about this before in other blog posts...that Cesar's fam is sooo accepting of me and is really cool. Well....I found the exception to the rule.

This was a week ago I guess we went a get together for Cesar's fam, it was a combined summer thing/his cousin's anniversary/and uncle's birthday deal. ANYWAYS....... I "met" one of Cesar's aunts, and the quotes are especially appropriate because she never introduced herslf, she just walked up to me and started verbally spewing at me. I only found out later she was his aunt.

I was getting some food and walks up to me and the jist of what she said was... if Cesar HAS to be a faggot, he alteast shouldn't be with a guy who's white, and doesn't belong. She told me several different ways that I didn't belong.

Cesar made a beeline for us and he wasn't yelling but he was speaking emphatically in Spanish and it was obvious he wasn;t happy and he wasn't being kind to her. She was puttering and (I could tell) being hateful and I was standing there *shocked*, somewhat amused, and wishing I could speak Spanish a hell of a lot better than I can)

Well then Cesar's Mom got involed (in English -- and I think she did this specifically so I'd know what she said) and ripped this bitch a new one. Let';s just say, Cesar's Mom didn;t leave anything to the imagination about how she felt about this woman (who is an in-law, some way or another). She defended both Cesar and me, which made me feel good on a couple levels. Good that she's not the kind of woamn that tolerates shit like that, and good that she thinks enough of me to be insulted, and defend me. And also that she defended Cesar. Because I was pretty pissed and definitely had some choice words for the aunt, but I'm not gonna potentially embarass any number of people by having a verbal throwdown at a family gathering.

But, end of story, the aunt left in a huff, and Cesar and his Mom (and others too) apologized for the way she had acted. I mean, no one likes to hear the kind of things she said, and I'm sure if I knew word for word what she said in Spanish I'd have even less happy, but I was happy in a way because now I know of atleast one whackjob in his family, and that makes them seem more normal to me, it makes their acceptable, which was so overwhelming to me for a while (and still is sometimes) seem okay to me since I know not everyone feels that way.

Was that a massive run-on? Oh well

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I've beem playing around with formulating a good recipe for sweet and sour ham for the restaurant. I think I'be got a good recipe, but I tend to like it hot and I put a good amount of tobasco in it. I wish I could get samples to everyone in blogland for input. I'm going to have friends over to try it once I perfect it.

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More later! Bye bye blogland!

---B

Why I Shy Away from the Vah-jayjay!....

I love lots of things anout women and about my female friends. Most times, I love the way they smell. For some reason, I love to walk into a bathroom after a woman has gotten ready in it. I love the way women can be great confidantes... I love the way I've seen some women in my life be so effortlessly maternal that it shocks me.

But I don't love women as far as realtionships go, and I don't choose to be in relationships with women. And I actually do have some experience in that department, so I can compare a heterosexual relationship to a gay one. At least, I believe I can.

To digress a bit, I don;t want to get into a blog debate about why I'm gay, or why I choose to have relationships with men, but I will admit this: It's not because I'm repulsed by a woman's genetalia, because I'm not. And again, I've seen quite a few, in the flesh.

Of course you could say that I choose relationships with men because I'm attracted to them, because I lust after them, because I feel more comfortable around them and relate to them, and you'd be right. That's the easy, no=brain answwer, and not the point of this blog.

Fundamentally, I choose relationships with men as opposed to women because, as a "species" I know how men think. Men, even gay men, are more straightforward in the way they deal with people. At least this is my experience.

Let me explain before you click the little X....

It's been my experience in general that with women (and I am pulling on experiences with, for example, my mom, sister, female friends, female rmployees, other female relatives and females relatives of my *current* and exes, etc), a man can never really know what a woman is thinking, or even if he thinks he knows he is probably wrong, and if he is, heaven forbid, a woman expects a man to be a mind reader. A mind reader and psychic, I think.

If something is wrong, I'm of a mind to think, "let's get it out in the open, let's just deal with it now so it can be over with." Let's NOT be made to play bs games like, well, you should know what the problem and if you don't lmow then I'm not going to tell you.

---

I'm niot saying these kinds of things never happen with me, just in my experience, much less often.

And yes, something happened in my life to prmpt this blog, specifically with my mother and sister, but I'm too pissed off at this moment to recount that.

Maybe a later blog, or better yet, next time I blog I'll be in a better mood altogether.

A Real Blog Post, For Real, I Swear!

First off, Kalei, I'm still laughing from reading your comment to my last blog, heheh. I am alive, but I think it was you who predicted it'd be July 4th before I wrote a blog... Was it you? Whoever it was, they were right. But better late than never. Or so I assume...

OK peoples... Obviously the idea that I might update this blog with any regularlarity in the forseeable future is...laughably unrealistic. But, I still love my blog people...all 11 of you, yay! (Even the ones that never comemnt) Whatever, I haven't commented on any of yours in months ;) Oops! :P

So, to the actual blog!

The reason I haven't written for a while, what it boils down to, is that I don't have any time. I don't have any, any, any, any, ANY time to myself nowadays and I just kind of forgot about my blog. But also...and this is the big difference, I don't have any crazy angry-ape-beating-his-chest drama to report.

I'm happy. We're happy. We've actually made a little family unit. Cesar and I and the munchkins, Chas and Jensen. And a booger of a cat named Oakley.

I know now that I can honestly say that I have left behind the drama of my past relationships, and I don't miss anything...anyone. I don't even want to mention my exes' names, they are chapters of my book, long ago written and sent to the presses, no change or desire to go back.

Of course, not everything is perfect with me and Cesar. We argue. He nags. His family butts in. My family butts in. He's fiery one instant and an extreme calming influence the next. He lets me be the protector I've accepted that I need to be. We rarely go to bed mad. Stress is a constant, but it doesn't bother me or him like it has, at least for me, in the past (in other relationships).

Chas has come to view Cesar as...not another father, but I think as "Daddy's person", and this makes me very happy. He hasn't said anything about Mike is quite a while, another little something that makes me very happy.

Cesar has told me that our 30s will be a hell of a lot better and happier than our 20s were... That reminds me of something I want to admit in blogland. Cesar and I have talked to each other, frankly, about our pasts. I told him about the parts of my childhood and adolescence that weren't so shiny and and happy, and I didn't gloss over them and pretend they weren't a big deal. Cesar told me about things in his childhood and past that will remain sacred here. For me, for us, it was cathartic but easy.

Like I've said in the past, to steal Danny's expression, the Brown people agree with me ;) I don;t think Cesar likes that I sometimes (playfully) refer to his people as the Brown people. He tells me that not all of them are all that Brown. That always makes me laugh, and I'm laughing now thinking of it ;)

I will end there because it seems a good spot to end for now. I will TRY to write more soon. Soonish. Something closely resembling soon.

Love to the blog elves! Muppet Soul, Rambler, Kalei, Penz. Of course Danny, but you are only a semi blog elf ;)

Good night!

-Bri

Blog Vacation

Hello bgloggy kids!!!

So.....I guess I haven't blogged in two months???

It seems like longer.

I've been on a blog vacation...and I enjoy my vacations. But, I'm back! Or at least I'm gonna try to be back....

Seems like I remember blogging could be fun ;)

Must...blog...more often!

*promises to blog on a regular basis*

updates soon!

Easter bo beaster banana fana fo FEASTER!

Blogmonkeys,

I honestly don't think I'm exxagerating when I say that I could feed all of North America with the Easter feast that has been prepared today. It's INSANE!

Must go and be a good daddy/host but wanted to wish all blogolites a Happy Easter!

Easter blog forthcoming!

*love*

-DB (Bri)